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Illustration: Simeon and Anna, the God-receivers – by Alexei Yegorov, 1830s–40s
“The caress and the Smile of Grandparents”
The following is Pope Francis’ address to a meeting with grandparents, the elderly and grandchildren,
organized by the Old Age Foundation) in the Paul VI Audience Hall – Saturday, 27 April 2024
Dear grandparents and dear grandchildren,
We all have a grandfather and a grandmother, two grandfathers, two grandmothers…
It is a wonderful experience to have grandparents!
It is good to welcome you here, grandparents and grandchildren, young and not so young.
Today we see, as the Psalm says, how good it is to be together (cf. Ps 133 –
Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!
2 It is like the precious oil upon the head, running down upon the beard,
upon the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes!
3 It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion!
For there the Lord has commanded the blessing, life for evermore.).
One only has to look at you to understand it, because there is love between you.
And this is what I want us to reflect on for a moment: the fact that love makes us better.
It makes us richer and it makes us wiser, at every age..
First: Love makes us better.
You too show this, that you make each other better by loving each other. And I say this too you as a “grandfather”, with the desire to share the ever-youthful faith that unites all generations.
I too received it from my grandmother, from whom I first learned about Jesus who loves us, who never leaves us alone, and who urges us too to be close to one another and never excluding anyone.
I still remember the first prayers that my grandmother taught me.
It was from her that I heard the story of that family where there was the grandfather who, because he could not eat easily at the table and got dirty, was sent away to eat alone.
And it was not a good thing, my grandmother told me that story…
It was not a good thing, on the contrary, it was very bad!
And so, the grandson – this is the story my grandmother told me– the grandson spent a few days with hammers and nails, and when his father asked him what he was doing, he replied: “I’m making a table for you, so that when you get old you can eat by yourself!”
And that is what my grandmother taught me, and I have never forgotten that story.
Do not forget it either, because it is only when we are together with love, not excluding anyone, that we become better, that we become more human!
Secondly 2. Not only that, but we are getting richer. How is this possible?
Our society is full of people who are specialists in many things, rich in knowledge and resources that are useful to everyone. However, if there is no sharing and each person thinks only of himself, all that wealth is lost; rather, it becomes an impoverishment of humanity.
And this is a great danger of our time: the poverty of fragmentation and selfishness.
The selfish person thinks he is more important if he puts himself first if he has more things.
But the selfish person is the poorest, because selfishness impoverishes.
Let us think, for example, of some expressions we use: when we talk about the “world of the young”, the “world of the elderly”, this world or another…
But there is only one world!
And it is made up of many realities that are different precisely because they help and complement each other. The generations, the peoples, and all the differences, when harmonized, can reveal, like the faces of a big diamond, the marvellous splendor of humanity and of creation.
This too is what your being together teaches us: not to let diversity create rifts between us!
No, let there not be divisions… let there be no pulverisation of the diamond of love, the most beautiful treasure that God has given us: love
Sometimes we hear phrases such as “think of yourself!”,.: that phrase “think of yourself”, “don’t need anyone!”. They are false phrases, which mislead people into thinking that it is good not to depend on others, to do things by yourself, to live as islands, whereas these are attitudes that only create a great deal of loneliness. For example, when because of the culture of rejection, the elderly are left alone and have to spend the last years of their life far from home and from their loved ones.
What do you think about this? Is it good or is it not good? No!
The elderly must not be left by themselves, they must live within the family, in the community, with the affection of everyone.
And if they cannot live with their families, we must go to visit them and stay close to them.
Let us think about it for a moment: do we like this?
Isn’t a world in which no one has to be afraid to end their days alone much better?
This world is sad, clearly yes, it is sad.
So let us build this world, together, not only by developing care programmes, but by cultivating different projects of existence, where the passing years are not considered a loss that diminishes anyone, but considered as an asset that grows and enriches everyone: and as such are valued and respected..
3. And this brings us to the last aspect: the love that makes us wiser.
It is strange: love makes us wiser.
Dear grandchildren,
Your grandparents are the memory of a world without memory, and “when a community loses its memory, it’s over” (Address to the Sant’Egidio Community, 15 June 2014).
A question: what happens to a society that loses its memory? (The young people answer) It’s over.
We must not lose our memory. Listen to your grandparents, especially when they teach you, with their love and with their witness, to cultivate the most important affections, which are not obtained by force, which do not appear through success, but which fill life.
It is not a coincidence that it was two elderly people, Simeon and Anna, who recognised Jesus when he was brought to the Temple by Mary and Joseph (cf. Lk 2:22-38 – see footnote below).
It was these two grandparents who recognized Jesus, before anyone else. They greeted Him, they took Him in their arms and they understood – only they understood – what was happening: that God was there, present, and that He was watching them through the eyes of a child. Do you understand? These two elderly people, look at them. Only they realized, when they saw the baby Jesus, that the Messiah had come, the Saviour everyone had been waiting for. It was the elderly who understood the mystery.
Older people wear glasses – almost all of them – but they can see far. How come?
They can see far, because they have lived for many years, and have many things to teach: for example, how bad war is. A long time ago, I learned this precisely from my grandfather, who had lived in 1914, at the Piave, the first World War, and through his stories he made me understand that war is a horrible thing, never to be done. He also taught me a beautiful song, that I still remember.
Do you want me to tell you? (The young people say “Yes!”). Think about it well, the soldiers at the Piave sang this: “General Cadorno wrote to the Queen, if you want to see Trieste, look at a postcard!”.
It is beautiful! The soldiers used to sing it.
Visit your grandparents and do not marginalize them, for your own good: “The marginalization of the elderly – both conceptually and practally – corrupts all seasons of life, not just that of old age” .
And in the other diocese I used to visit rest homes for the elderly, and I always used to ask: “How many children do you have?” “ Many, many!” “And do they come to visit you?” “Yes, always – I remember once – they always come”. And when I left, the nurse would say to me, “How good that woman is, how she covers up for her children: they come twice a year, no more”. Grandparents are generous: they know how to cover up bad things. Please, visit your grandparents, do not marginalize them: it is for your own good.
The marginalization of the elderly corrupts all the seasons of life, not just that of old age.
I like to repeat this. On the contrary, you learn the wisdom of their strong love, and also of their frailty, which is a “magisterium” capable of teaching without the need for words, a true antidote to the hardening of the heart: it will help you not to remain stuck in the present, and to savor life as a relationship (cf. Benedict XVI, Greeting in the family home ‘Long Live the Elderly’, 12 November 2012).
But not only that: when you, grandparents and grandchildren, old and young, are together, when you see and hear each other often, when you care for each other, your love is a breath of clean air that refreshes the world and society and makes us all stronger, beyond the bonds of kinship.
This is the message that Jesus gave us too, on the cross, when He “saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing near, [and] He said to His mother, ‘Woman, behold your son!’ Then He said to the disciple, ‘Behold your mother!’ And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home” (Jn 19:26-27). With those words He entrusted to us a miracle to perform: that of loving us all as one great family.
Dear friends, thank you, thank you for being here, and thank you for what you are doing with the “Età Grande” Foundation! Together, united, you are an example and a gift to all.
I remember you in prayer, I bless you, and please, do not forget to pray for me.
Thank you very much!
Footnote: Lk 2:22-38
When the time came for their purification according to the law of Moses, they brought him up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord (as it is written in the law of the Lord, “Every male that opens the womb shall be called holy to the Lord”) and to offer a sacrifice according to what is said in the law of the Lord, “a pair of turtledoves, or two young pigeons. Now there was a man in Jerusalem, whose name was Simeon, and this man was righteous and devout, looking for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. And it had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he should not see death before he had seen the Lord’s Christ. And inspired by the Spirit, he came into the temple; and when the parents brought in the child Jesus, to do for him according to the custom of the law, he took him up in his arms and blessed God and said, “Lord, now let thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word for mine eyes have seen thy salvation which thou hast prepared in the presence of all peoples, a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and for glory to thy people Israel.”
And his father and his mother marveled at what was said about him; and Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, “Behold, this child is set for the fall]and rising of many in Israel, and for a sign that is spoken against (and a sword will pierce through your own soul also), that thoughts out of many hearts may be revealed.”
And there was a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher; she was of a great age, having lived with her husband seven years from her virginity, and as a widow till she was eighty-four. She did not depart from the temple, worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day. And coming up at that very hour she gave thanks to God, and spoke of him to all who were looking for the redemption of Jerusalem.
